Blabberings Of A Taciturn

Sorry if I messed your stomach with the last post, but it was an eye-opener. So, here are some marriage jokes to calm things a bit. These are some of the jokes that I find amusing.

Enjoy!!

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A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the girl wear white?"

His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."

The boy thinks about this, and then says, "Well then, why is the boy wearing black?"

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How have times changed?

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.

Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!

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Getting revenge with marriage

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."

Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."

Johnson: "But I want you to."

Wife: "But why?"

Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

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Wife was mad at me

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.

One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night!

She went on and on and wouldn't stop!

The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen.

How do you do that? Says the other.

It's easy! I turn off the light!

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.

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There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."

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What is the difference between a marriage and a war?
A marriage is a war in which the enemies can sleep together!


More from http://www.ahajokes.com
More from http://www.matrimonialbank.com/jokes.html Read the full story

Today was my little sister's baccalaureate mass. The rest of the family participated in the mass. I, on the other hand, was walking in circles in the parking area, carrying Gebryl while singing High by Lighthouse Family, Everytime I Close My Eyes, and White Christmas.

Why? Gebryl was in a bad mood and kept crying because he was sleepy. Oftentimes, he's grouchy when sleepy. It's a good thing I have such wonderful voice (ahem), that he would sleep when I sang to him. I really have such serenading voice(ahem).

Anyways, after the mass, we went to Gaisano Mall to eat. We went to McDonald's, Geb's second home. We sat him on a children's chair and gave him his meal, some fries and Coke. And don't forget his Sundae (Chocolate Fudge), which is the most important part of his food group.

After eating, we strolled around the Mall and saw the merry-go-train in the Mall. Sharee wanted to ride the train with Geb. So they bought some tickets and prepared to board the train. However, the train was already full thus it was decided that they would board the train on the next run.

The train started to run and Geb was starting to get angry that he was not able to board. Sharee had to put him down due to Geb's furious struggling. As the train went with some distance, Geb was suddenly running after the training, shouting and screaming. Sharee and I had to ran after him. Sharee was holding Geb's one hand as we followed the train behind. Geb was still screaming and shouting while raising his other hand in the air with clenched fists.

We had to circumnavigate the mall's activity area following the train two times before it stopped. Geb was so eager to ride the train and Sharee and I had some laughs with Geb's excitement and eagerness.

This was the most fun part of today's activities. I just had to laugh with Geb's behaviour with the train. It reminded me of some one else.. ME Read the full story

Last night I was bored to death at work. Just every minute I would go for a shut eye. My eyes were sore somehow. I was just so bored.

Good thing the wife was online. Had a little chat and she sent me these jokes.

Couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?

umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.

wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

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ANG MARRIED LIFE.... May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inabot ng 5 am. Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng: "HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"

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Husband: "Paratina lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!" Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!" Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!" Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"

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Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried her. Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this? Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

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Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men into women. After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"

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WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour! HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah? WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!! (ammp hehehe)

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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love. Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na. HEHEHEHE!!!!

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Take a crack at that.. LOLZ Read the full story