Blabberings Of A Taciturn

Last night I was bored to death at work. Just every minute I would go for a shut eye. My eyes were sore somehow. I was just so bored.

Good thing the wife was online. Had a little chat and she sent me these jokes.

Couple talking:
wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
wife : eh di pkigawa na lang hagdan natin.
husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?

umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.

wife : kasi kanina a man saw me crying, sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
husband : so pnag-bake mo siya ng cake?
wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

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ANG MARRIED LIFE.... May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inabot ng 5 am. Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng: "HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!"

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Husband: "Paratina lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!" Wife: "Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!" Husband: "Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!" Wife: "Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!"

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Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried her. Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this? Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

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Health Advisory: "Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men into women. After 5 pints.... men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!"

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WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour! HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah? WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!! (ammp hehehe)

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Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love. Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na. HEHEHEHE!!!!

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Take a crack at that.. LOLZ